Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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