i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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