U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
