I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
