I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
