i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize