at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
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just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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