Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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