Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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