thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
