im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wish there were birth control emojis
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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