I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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