am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes