Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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