Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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