I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
