Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
