She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
