I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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