Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
