Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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