I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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