i think i have herpe
just one?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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