Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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