I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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