Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
