Only a mothe r could love this liver
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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