I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
