Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
