On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
