My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
