Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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