i don't like sucking hair
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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