do herpes really smell.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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