The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
