just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
FUCK WHALES
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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