theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
