Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
