pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
