i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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