The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We are two peas in an std pod
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
