I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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