Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
