i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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