im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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