I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
