dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
