OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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