whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
