Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize