i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
