it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize