I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
