weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
