Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
