I faked an abortion last night.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
honey bunches of taint.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
