guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
