God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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