It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
