i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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