Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

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  (312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend? http://tfl.nu/xot8
  Replies (23) Good night (631) Bad night (1935)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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  (213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk
  Replies (12) Good night (4966) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober

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  (608): I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober http://tfl.nu/eoub
  Replies (27) Good night (4546) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

  (214): View more from Texas

  What? They have three kids?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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  (512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk
  Replies (20) Good night (880) Bad night (6089)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks

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  (703): relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/2hg2
  Replies (3) Good night (3969) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.

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  (630): I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy. http://tfl.nu/cb6u
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (2733)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

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  (516): i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets http://tfl.nu/efkf
  Replies (6) Good night (2684) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

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  (336): I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body" http://tfl.nu/dnkv
  Replies (8) Good night (1967) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

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  (401): STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN http://tfl.nu/5dil
  Replies (3) Good night (1171) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

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  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (3) Good night (639) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.

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  (231): It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud. http://tfl.nu/k8j8
  Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.

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  (602): I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex. http://tfl.nu/31bt
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She looks like a beluga.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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  (941): She looks like a beluga. (954): I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched" http://tfl.nu/1qo8
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee

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  (832): this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee http://tfl.nu/kl3z
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.

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  (785): I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright. http://tfl.nu/s51t
  Replies (0) Good night (368) Bad night (278)

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