Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me

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  (734): I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me http://tfl.nu/ldou
  Replies (5) Good night (773) Bad night (1034)
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  (415): View more from California

  u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them

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  (415): u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them http://tfl.nu/vc7z
  Replies (43) Good night (3873) Bad night (819)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator

  (954): View more from Florida

  you didnt stop her?

  (305): View more from Florida

  too entertaining

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  (305): so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator (954): you didnt stop her? (305): too entertaining http://tfl.nu/7hz6
  Replies (49) Good night (4892) Bad night (711)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5474) Bad night (698)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.

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  (917): Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste. http://tfl.nu/mscz
  Replies (9) Good night (3607) Bad night (1823)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh

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  (208): Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh http://tfl.nu/jb8q
  Replies (19) Good night (3151) Bad night (1506)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.

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  (952): I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler. http://tfl.nu/21hn
  Replies (9) Good night (1957) Bad night (1181)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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  (605): Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away... http://tfl.nu/4asr
  Replies (4) Good night (1342) Bad night (1247)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...

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  (847): I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest... http://tfl.nu/j6s5
  Replies (6) Good night (2605) Bad night (819)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire

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  (513): Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire http://tfl.nu/zvoc
  Replies (7) Good night (644) Bad night (1177)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled

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  (910): I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled http://tfl.nu/mvb6
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (1150)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.

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  (408): I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was. http://tfl.nu/1g06
  Replies (0) Good night (905) Bad night (366)
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  (619): View more from California

  A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.

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  (619): A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/3eld
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (352)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day

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  (518): Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day http://tfl.nu/4jpm
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (274)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later

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  (574): I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later http://tfl.nu/xueh
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (488)

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