Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
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Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.