Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff