just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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