Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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